emotional intelligence

What is Emotional Intelligence – How to use it to Fuel Personal and Professional Growth

“Emotional intelligence is the ability to sense, understand, and effectively apply the power and acumen of emotions as a source of human energy, information, connection, and influence.” — Robert K. Cooper.



Emotional Intelligence is a crucial aspect of human behavior that defines our ability to recognize, manage, and express emotions effectively. It is the ability to understand, manage, and use emotions to guide one’s behavior positively. Emotional Intelligence has been found to be a key factor in determining success in relationships, work, and life in general. This article will focus on 7 ways to improve one’s emotional Intelligence.

What exactly is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. It involves being aware of your emotions and how they affect you, being able to regulate your emotions, and being able to use emotions to guide your thinking and behavior. Emotional Intelligence is made up of four components: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.


  • Self-awareness involves being aware of your emotions and how they affect you. It also involves being aware of your strengths and weaknesses and your impact on others. 
  • Self-management involves regulating your emotions and controlling your impulses. 
  • Social awareness involves being aware of the emotions of others and understanding social cues and context.
  •  Relationship management involves using your Emotional Intelligence to build and maintain positive relationships with others.

Why is Emotional Intelligence Important?

Emotional Intelligence is important because it affects all areas of our lives. It determines how we interact with others, how we handle stress and challenges, and how we approach opportunities. People with high emotional Intelligence are more successful in their relationships, careers, and personal lives. They are better able to understand and communicate with others, manage conflict, and make informed decisions.


7 Ways to Improve Emotional Intelligence

1. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness involves being present in the moment and paying attention to your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Practicing mindfulness can help you become more self-aware and better able to regulate your emotions. It can also reduce stress and anxiety. To practice mindfulness, find a quiet place to sit or lie down. Focus on your breath and observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment.

2. Develop Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Developing empathy can help you better understand the emotions of others and respond appropriately. To develop empathy, try to put yourself in another person’s shoes. Listen to their perspective, and try to understand their emotions. Avoid judging or dismissing their feelings.

3. Learn to Manage Stress

Stress can be a major barrier to emotional Intelligence. Learning to manage stress can help you regulate your emotions and respond appropriately to challenges. To manage stress, try to identify your triggers and develop coping strategies. These might include exercise, deep breathing, or talking to a friend.

4. Practice Active Listening

Active listening involves fully engaging with the person you are speaking with and paying attention to their words, tone, and body language. Active listening can help you better understand the emotions of others and respond appropriately. To practice active listening, focus on the speaker and avoid interrupting or distracting behaviors. Try to summarize what the person is saying and ask clarifying questions.

5. Build Positive Relationships

Building positive relationships involves using your Emotional Intelligence to connect with others in a meaningful way. This involves being able to communicate effectively and respond appropriately to the emotions of others. To build positive relationships, focus on building trust, being authentic, and showing empathy.

6. Develop Emotional Self-Awareness

Emotional self-awareness involves being aware of your emotions and how they affect you. It also involves being able to regulate your emotions and respond appropriately. To develop emotional self-awareness, try to identify your emotional triggers and develop strategies for managing your emotions. This might include taking a break, talking to a friend, or engaging in a calming activity.

7. Practice Assertiveness

Assertiveness is the ability to express your needs, opinions, and feelings in a clear and respectful way. It involves standing up for yourself without being aggressive or passive. Practicing assertiveness can help you build self-confidence and improve your communication skills. To practice assertiveness, be clear and direct when expressing yourself. Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements, and avoid blaming or attacking others.

To conclude, improving emotional Intelligence is a lifelong process, but it is worth the effort. By practicing mindfulness, developing empathy, learning to manage stress, practicing active listening, building positive relationships, developing emotional self-awareness, and practicing assertiveness, you can improve your emotional Intelligence and become a more successful and fulfilled person. Remember, emotional Intelligence is not just about understanding your own emotions; it is also about understanding and responding to the emotions of others. By developing these skills, you can build stronger relationships, better manage stress, and achieve greater success in all areas of your life.

5 books that can help improve emotional Intelligence

1. “Emotional Intelligence 2.0” by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves: This book provides practical strategies to improve emotional Intelligence in the areas of self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. It includes a self-assessment test and strategies for improving emotional Intelligence in each of the four areas

2. “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey: This classic book focuses on developing habits that can improve emotional Intelligence, including being proactive, seeking to understand others, and thinking win-win. It provides practical advice for building strong relationships and managing emotions effectiv

3. “Nonviolent Communication” by Marshall Rosenberg: This book offers a framework for communicating in a way that promotes empathy, connection, and understanding. It provides tools for expressing yourself in a way that is both honest and respectful and for listening to others in a way that fosters understanding.

4. “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle: This book focuses on the importance of being present in the moment and letting go of past regrets and future worries. It provides tools for managing stress and anxiety and for connecting with your inner self in a way that promotes emotional well-being.

5. “Daring Greatly” by Brené Brown: This book focuses on the importance of vulnerability and courage in building strong relationships and achieving personal growth. It provides strategies for embracing vulnerability and developing resilience in the face of challenges and for building meaningful connections with others.

Each of these books provides valuable insights and practical strategies for improving emotional Intelligence. By reading and applying the lessons from these books, you can develop the skills and habits needed to improve your emotional Intelligence and achieve greater success and fulfillment in all areas of your life.

* NB: Disclosure Policy: As an Amazon Associate, Happysimus earns commissions from qualifying purchases

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