Your inner child ( The child in you )
You may have heard about the inner child that we all embody and manifest at some point in life. It represents an individual’s childlike aspect of past experiences and memories -conscious or unconscious. These might have been expressed in playfulness, expansive imagination and fantasies, creativity, innocence, and hope for the future. Its origin is traced back to the Swiss psychoanalyst and pioneer of analytical psychology;Carl Jung.- depicted in his so-called divine child archetype and further expanded by other psychologists such as Arthur Janov.
This Psychological metaphor encompasses current memories and residues of the early stages of our childhood. One might postulate, going as far as affecting and mirroring our self-esteem and vulnerabilities modulated by the different stimuli and experiences we live or lived, whether pleasant or painful.
We all have blocked emotions, deficiencies, and sometimes accumulative traumas, mild or severe, of things that we may have lived and that ultimately marked our childhood; therefore, one might deduce the harboring within us of a wounded or joyous inner child.
The wounded inner child
Perhaps during childhood, we had relational experiences or deficiencies that were not satisfied at the time; (lack of affection, little or no recognition, insufficient perceived appreciation, attention or acceptance, mistreatment, abuse, bullying, etc.). This predisposes and might ultimately trigger our internal or unconscious memory to form a wounded inner child. The spillover is a distorted development of one’s self-esteem or self-image.
Why should we heal our inner child?
This critical step might be viewed as a way to return to the stage of development where this lack or bad experiences occurred to comfort that child from the adult part of who we are now, to take out the remaining pain and attain some healing. Sort of like giving one the opportunity for a new beginning by restructuring the self-esteem of the wounded child and harmonizing it with the essence of the adult self. This might imaginably help create harmony and inner peace, and even refine one’s life purpose and mission.
If you identify some traits in you and are wondering at this point about your personal Inner Child or you feel it might be a Wounded inner Child, you might want to deal with it even at this stage of your life and move forward.
How to comfort or heal the wounded child within.
The first step is to understand, recognize and acknowledge what happened. Recognize these experiences for what they are. ” past experiences at a vulnerable period. Acknowledge your new self, your strength, and your responsibility to practice self-love and self-care, to heal, forgive, mature, and move forward
Understanding is fundamental; it allows one to develop a more upbeat personality, with a greater capacity to love oneself and others.
Here are five tools that will support or guide you in this process.
- Permit yourself to feel sadness or anger during your healing process-after all, It was certainly not your fault. It was unfair and mean. However, recognize that is not the state you want to reside in, in due course.
- Accept every experience and situation as part of you and your past. It might sound harsh but know: “shit happens, always can, and always will” Albeit you are the captain of your ship, you now have full responsibility to find a way to clean up the mess!
- Communicate and have open and honest conversations with your parents, loved ones, or relatives with whom you did not have an excellent emotional relationship, and if there are frictions between you……
- It is an excellent time to be remorseful and to forgive. It is indeed true that resentment and vengeance are poison to the soul. Remorse and forgiveness are divine. Take solace in the fact that we ALL make mistakes at one point in time or the other.
- Let go of the negative past by adopting the virtues of the beautiful past. Feel free to laugh, play and see the world from the magical perspective of being a cheerful child again.
10 great lessons we can learn from the child we once were, aka our joyful inner child.
1) Learn to forgive: It was easier for us to forgive and forget as children. Observe the innocence, friendship enhancing acts, and benevolence of little children who, after having an altercation, continue to enjoy their play together as if nothing had happened.
2) Maintain that sense of creativity, rich imagination, and fantasy-filled mindset: Keep alive the ability to dream big and believe in wonders. Indeed, a child’s imagination knows no limits and boundaries. How often do we let our dreams and goals in life wither for lack of imagination and belief?
3) Rejuvenate that sense of Spontaneity: Dare to take the leap of faith without much hesitation and doubt. Too many people lose their passion, fire, or spark from being too rigid and lacking flexibility in life.
4) Enforce your sense of Appreciation, gratitude, joy, and enjoyment: Savor every moment and new experience of life, being grateful for everything in it. Observe the Appreciation and excitement at a child opening their Xmas or birthday present.
5) Improve your Capacity to adapt and be resilient: Children have a solid tenacity to integrate and adapt to new circumstances and challenges. Do not easily give up on your current struggles and challenges. Keep grinding. One step at a time!
6) Be fully engaged and live in the moment: Are you consumed by worry and anxiety about the past or future? Do you miss genuine interactions and feel the focus is mainly on smartphones, social media, etc, when you try to deal with friends or loved ones nowadays-sort of physically there but never really mentally present? How cheerful it is to watch children entirely lose themselves in an activity for long periods at a stretch!
7) Be gladly motivated to learn: Embrace every experience life presents as a lesson and something to learn from. Dare to broaden your horizons and explore new adventures. Recall that childlike curiosity, perpetual questioning, and longing to learn more?
8) Showcase and exhibit Joy and happiness: Keep that childlike spark burning throughout your everyday encounters and activities. Isn’t a babylike and childlike aka childish smile and laughter just so warm and cute? Just observe the brightness of their faces when children run and jump around.
9) Be silly!: Yeah, you got it right! You can act Silly and still be a mature grown-up. I know a couple who credit their lasting relationship to humor and fun. Notice so-called mature adults in a relaxed or excited mood. There is indeed an inner yearning to be silly sometimes, and you do not need alcohol or drugs for that! Jump around —make fun when you feel like it. Play hide and seek- if not with your partner, at least with your kid. Loosen up! Make fun faces. Act out different roles. Engage in those silly childhood games ! Enjoy life!
10) Mind your own business and truly care less about what others think about you: Lastly and so important is this golden childlike quality. A child’s endeavors are innocent and carefree because failure or humiliation has a different meaning. They engage with the world with altruism and open-heartedness. They approach life and all it offers with pure innocence and vigor.
The Marcopera was wise to posit,
” When you start minding your own business, fully caring less about what others think or feel about you, you attain a new level of freedom and satisfaction that is so blissfully gratifying and liberating.”
What an insightful early childhood education.!